I had posted this a long time ago on another board and I thought this might get a few laughs judging by how much hasn't changed in the last 5 years:
If Bodybuilders Ruled the World
By Jacob Wilson
Can you imagine a world that was run by bodybuilders? I sometimes find myself daydreaming of such a place…
1. Wealth would be measured in terms of Lean muscle mass.
2. EVERY restaurant would be buffet style!!
3. Everywhere would have gyms, paid for by the state.
4. The boss of the world would probably be half a ton of solid muscle.
5. Big and Tall would be in all the shops. ordinary sized people would have to hunt all over for clothes.
6. There would be a minimum squat for entering Congress or Parliament
7. Cooking shows would feature "Make the PERFECT home made MRP" with Angelo, the 250lb monster
8. Time management courses would teach you to fit work somewhere in around training, eating and sleeping.
9. Richard Simmons would be tied to a York barbell and thrown off the Brooklyn River Bridge.
10. University degrees in bodybuilding concentrating on supplement development, nutritional science, and exercise technique.
11. Meal Replacement Powder vending machines for when you forget your food at home.
12. Every store, whether food or electronic would be required to have a certain amount of mirrors. Even the bus stop would be required to have a mirror. This way kids could check out their side chest pose while awaiting their ride to school.
13. Everyone would be required to work legs at least once a week.
14. Blood and Guts would be the most desired video on the shelves, replacing Titanic.
15. The Olympia would be on prime time TV instead of being shown once at 3am on ESPN after the exciting Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show of 1979.
16. Some little twerp (Tobey Maguire) would not be playing Spiderman in the upcoming movie. Michael Keaton would not have played Batman. I mean do movie viewers detest muscle so much as to have 145lbers play the parts of muscular characters. If Superman is ever remade, Lee Priest better be playing the part, that's all I have to say.
17. (In addition to 16)Bodybuilders would get more movie parts. And no Franco Colombo staring in the hugely successful Barretta's Island doesn't count.
18 . There would be radio stations that play only workout music.
19. there would be upfront parking spaces for those who had worked legs that day or the day before
20. In addition, stairs would be made illegal.
21. And last and certainly not least It would be legal to burn gyms to the ground for playing NYSNC, Backstreet Boys, etc. Especially during leg workouts!
Hey you can't fault me for dreaming right? I hope you enjoyed this months issue of Beyond Failure Magazine! Until Next time.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."