Funny stuff: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/how-win-any.php
"NEVER DEFEND YOUR OWN POINTS."
I don't think I have a favorite part because it all makes me chuckle but this is a good one:
INCORRECT RESPONSE: Dear Internet cur, I'll have you know that your churlish actions and replies reek of an insolent ignoramus! Why, upon reading your cretinous claim, I let out a mighty scoff and nearly choked upon my brandy!
CORRECT RESPONSE: FUK U HITLER!!!